Audrina Patridge might be dead behind the eyes, but in these bikini pics for the U.K.’s FHM, she’s smoking hot!

Can you deny her hotness in this red bikini and in the topless pics below? I thought not. She may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but would you really date this girl for her brains? My thoughts exactly.

Audrina Patridge is best left as the date you take to a very expensive black tie affair, but tell her to try not to speak and just look pretty.

Featured in their April issue, Audrina is the definition of vapid, yet still so perfect. Either when she’s crawling toward you in a hot bikini with a wifebeater or when she’s laying around on the beach in a skimpy bathing suit and heels, you’re going to love her beauty boobs!

As we know all know, Audrina Patridge is a little bit fake up top but everything looks pretty damn good, especially when she stuffs it all into a form-fitting gown. Sure, I love to hate Audrina as much as the next person loves to hate a do-nothing Hollywood celebrity, but my eyes like what they see. But I guess that is the only thing that has kept the A train going this long. Audrina Patridge looks good in her jeans as well, but this black dress just screams expensive escort. Let’s do dinner!

Audrina Patridge looks pretty cool considering she’s on the red carpet at Us Weekly’s Hot Hollywood party. But then again, where else would she be? And she loves attention, so she’s in her element. Audrina is a party girl and the fall Hot Hollywood party is where anyone that’s anyone can be found. But I like her look. This dress is more conservative than some of the dresses we’ve seen her in before, but this event is a tad more serious than hitting a LA club. Just a tad. Now here is Audrina Patridge on the craziest pickup line she’s ever received:

“This guy at a club once told me, ‘If you were a door, I would slam you all night long.’ I just laughed it off.”